In a Whirlwind
Wow. All I can say is wow. I am now over a week into my senior year of college and my last semester of classes and I feel like I haven't stopped moving or thinking since last Tuesday. Don't get me wrong, I love learning new things and being challenged to think in different ways than I am used to...HOWEVER...it is difficult to go back into extremely intense days filled with almost too-knowlegable professors and way too much information to process.
Furthermore, it is my first year living back at home and thus, feeling the beginnings of being disconnected with campus. Although a part of me is extremely ready to graduate and move on with my life, the fact that I am still a student attending classes on campus without holding various leadership positions (like I have for the past 3 years) is new for me...and a little difficult. I've described it to some friends as feeling like I'm "in limbo" - I don't quite know where I fit in all of this. I know that a number of changes are right around the corner and that in itself is scary and exciting at the same time...but already experiencing some of those anticipated changes (e.g. being disconnected from campus) before I am done with college is quite strange...
On the other hand, can I just say that LOFT is one of the greatest teams I have ever been a part of? LOFT, if you don't know, is a student-led worship service held on Sunday evenings primarily for the college community. I auditioned as a freshman to play guitar and sing in LOFT during my sophomore year (I think it's funny to note that Kent, who I am now dating, was one of the people to audition me) and I was accepted! I learned so much and was challenged in many ways as a sophomore...then I became a Worship Apprentice my junior year and learned more of the "in's and out's" of worship - what it is, how to think about it, how to plan and lead worship services, etc. Being a WA literally changed my life - one of the best experiences ever. One of my chief responsibilities as a WA was to plan and lead numerous LOFT services...so I learned and was challenged even more. And now, as a senior, I am no longer an appointed leader but am still involved as a part of the team. It is strange to step back from something I invested my whole being into for a whole year and let someone else do what I was trained to do. This years WAs are phenomenal people and extremely gifted musicians and worship leaders - they already do a great job and will learn so much this year...I am glad they are in the position I was in last year...but I have to admit that I'm pretty nostalgic and I miss it a lot. I miss the community/family I had with the WAs I worked with (Daniel, Deborah, Melany, Stephen, Joyce, Cheryl, Kyle and Jordan - I love and miss you all). Although I still see some of them here and there on campus, it's just not the same. I miss the WA office - our little "haven" that we would go to in the chapel basement to plan worship services, do homework, or just hang out between classes. I miss being constantly challenged in how I think about worship and how I live my daily life by Paul, my mentor last year. On the other hand, still being a part of the LOFT team gives me a sense of belonging - a sense of community that is familiar to me. When we gather together for pre-practice devotions and pray together, I am assured that this is a community that builds each other up and cares about each other both inside and outside of LOFT practices and services. So LOFT people...you bless the socks off of me (that's probably why I hardly wear socks and love sandals so much!). Thank you for being a safe place to be myself in - thank you for the honesty and the talent you share with the group - thank you for displaying your love for God in the way you talk, sing, play instruments, and just have fun.
So basically, this year is very different than any other year and I'm still trying to figure out a rhythm to how things are going to go in the next number of months. Life is good. Good is good. This year is going to be good. It's just going to be different.
Some cool things I'm going to learn this semester:
- the deeper meaning behind teaching a foreign language (that normally isn't taught in high schools)
- how Christians are to respond to and live in a world of religious plurality
- what the Old Testament historical books are and how they add to the broader narrative of scripture
- how to develop my philosophy of education
- what was going on in Latin American in the pre-modern era through 1945 and how those events were written about by Latin American authors and poets
It is and will be a whirlwind...but a good one.
Furthermore, it is my first year living back at home and thus, feeling the beginnings of being disconnected with campus. Although a part of me is extremely ready to graduate and move on with my life, the fact that I am still a student attending classes on campus without holding various leadership positions (like I have for the past 3 years) is new for me...and a little difficult. I've described it to some friends as feeling like I'm "in limbo" - I don't quite know where I fit in all of this. I know that a number of changes are right around the corner and that in itself is scary and exciting at the same time...but already experiencing some of those anticipated changes (e.g. being disconnected from campus) before I am done with college is quite strange...
On the other hand, can I just say that LOFT is one of the greatest teams I have ever been a part of? LOFT, if you don't know, is a student-led worship service held on Sunday evenings primarily for the college community. I auditioned as a freshman to play guitar and sing in LOFT during my sophomore year (I think it's funny to note that Kent, who I am now dating, was one of the people to audition me) and I was accepted! I learned so much and was challenged in many ways as a sophomore...then I became a Worship Apprentice my junior year and learned more of the "in's and out's" of worship - what it is, how to think about it, how to plan and lead worship services, etc. Being a WA literally changed my life - one of the best experiences ever. One of my chief responsibilities as a WA was to plan and lead numerous LOFT services...so I learned and was challenged even more. And now, as a senior, I am no longer an appointed leader but am still involved as a part of the team. It is strange to step back from something I invested my whole being into for a whole year and let someone else do what I was trained to do. This years WAs are phenomenal people and extremely gifted musicians and worship leaders - they already do a great job and will learn so much this year...I am glad they are in the position I was in last year...but I have to admit that I'm pretty nostalgic and I miss it a lot. I miss the community/family I had with the WAs I worked with (Daniel, Deborah, Melany, Stephen, Joyce, Cheryl, Kyle and Jordan - I love and miss you all). Although I still see some of them here and there on campus, it's just not the same. I miss the WA office - our little "haven" that we would go to in the chapel basement to plan worship services, do homework, or just hang out between classes. I miss being constantly challenged in how I think about worship and how I live my daily life by Paul, my mentor last year. On the other hand, still being a part of the LOFT team gives me a sense of belonging - a sense of community that is familiar to me. When we gather together for pre-practice devotions and pray together, I am assured that this is a community that builds each other up and cares about each other both inside and outside of LOFT practices and services. So LOFT people...you bless the socks off of me (that's probably why I hardly wear socks and love sandals so much!). Thank you for being a safe place to be myself in - thank you for the honesty and the talent you share with the group - thank you for displaying your love for God in the way you talk, sing, play instruments, and just have fun.
So basically, this year is very different than any other year and I'm still trying to figure out a rhythm to how things are going to go in the next number of months. Life is good. Good is good. This year is going to be good. It's just going to be different.
Some cool things I'm going to learn this semester:
- the deeper meaning behind teaching a foreign language (that normally isn't taught in high schools)
- how Christians are to respond to and live in a world of religious plurality
- what the Old Testament historical books are and how they add to the broader narrative of scripture
- how to develop my philosophy of education
- what was going on in Latin American in the pre-modern era through 1945 and how those events were written about by Latin American authors and poets
It is and will be a whirlwind...but a good one.
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 at 2:17 PM.
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You have David Smith for teaching a foreign language? That guy is brilliant. Here's his latest interesting article...
And as for the OT, ask your prof if this sermon I just listened to makes any sense (text is provided as a PDF). It baffled me.
Glad to hear about LOFT; hang in there in a busy semester!
Okay, so I know this post is from a month ago, but I had to comment on it, because you are totally echoing what I felt like my senior year, although for me it didn't hit until second semester. That limbo feeling - you may want to get used to it because at least for me, it hasn't gone away yet. I remember student teaching and living on campus, but totally not feeling like a college student anymore because I couldn't stay up late, and was gone all day from 6:30 until 5pm, and just missed connecting with all those people. I guess what I'm saying is be encouraged - you're not alone. That limbo isn't a bad thing (completely), and I think it does make the transition out of college easier. I hope that LOFT continues to be a blessing, and take good care of Kent.
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