On Doubt and Lament
Last night at LOFT, Prof. Jamie Smith spoke on Thomas' encounter with Jesus from John 20:24-31. He said a lot of things, but the thing that stuck out to me the most was the fact that, when Thomas doubted that Jesus had risen and declared that he would not believe until he could see the wounds and put his finger in the wounds in Jesus' hands and put his hand in Jesus' side, Jesus did not chastise him or condemn him, but he met Thomas where he was at. He told him (I imagine with a look of compassion on his face): "Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe." I mean, Jesus was standing right there in front of Thomas so you'd think that'd be proof enough for him...but obviously it wasn't (would I have believed him?). Yet God, in his mercy, met Thomas in his doubt to answer his questions with compassion and grace. He gave Thomas the room he needed to question.I have seen God do some amazing things in my life. I could name at least 5 situations that he turned from sorrow into great joy. Because of that, I find that it is easier to trust God when hard times come because I know he provided in the past and will provide in these situations. I know and trust that God has and has had my best in mind and that he will always "work for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purposes," (Romans 8:28)...yet so often I look around at the situations I see others (as well as myself) going through and wonder what the heck God has in mind, you know? I lament the fact that there are millions of people around the world who live on less than a dollar a day. I lament the fact that millions of people are dying in wars. I lament the fact that millions of people are wondering what they are going to do for food tomorrow while we at home worry about what we're going to wear to school or work. I lament the fact that people make vows that they intentially break for selfish reasons and that others are left in pain, heartach, anger and saddness. I lament the fact that thousands upon thousands of people are dealing with various health issues that are out of their hands.
Sometimes I wonder where God is in all of this and doubt that God is going to come through and bring blessing out of pain. Sometimes I feel like God is so distant and struggle to understand his presence when I know that I or someone I care about is dealing with a situation that I know sorrows God.God, I believe in your sovereignty and your goodness, but how am I to live with my doubt? How am I to live with my lamentations? How am I to live in a broken world that is in such need of reconciliation? How am I to be a light and arms of comfort to this broken world when I myself am a broken human being?
It is in these times that I am especially thankful for the incarnation - the fact that our Creator humbled himself to be born as a baby - he emptied himself to become a flesh and blood human being who experienced all areas of life as we do...yet somehow was still mysteriously God at the same time...Jesus Christ endured hardships of every kind so he would know from experience what we deal with day after day. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, met us where we were at...and what's more, he became broken for us. His body was broken on the cross on our behalf so that one day, when he comes again, all of our pain, confusion and heartache will be no more and we will forever glory with him in eternity. I look forward to that day....
Lord I believe...help me in my unbelief...
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on Monday, October 23, 2006 at 2:23 PM.
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